BEFORE:

AFTER:

BEFORE:

I really needed to read this. and it has been fueling my energy for the past few days. God is the only way out!

Photo was in Kananaskis Alberta in 2009. LOvely

And their Lord hath accepted of them, and answered them: “Never will I suffer to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female: Ye are members, one of another: Those who have left their homes, or been driven out therefrom, or suffered harm in My Cause, or fought or been slain,- verily, I will blot out from them their iniquities, and admit them into Gardens with rivers flowing beneath;- A reward from the presence of Allah, and from His presence is the best of rewardss!”

Imran : 195

I remember writing a little poem for Leslie to open and read the morning of our wedding day. In it, I shared my excitement to be one with her life and to finally kiss those lips I had known, from what had become a painful distance, for three years.

The moment she would come to me at the side of her father, dressed in the purest white symbolized so much between us – not only the joys of rewarded patience and prayer, but the hope of what we both anticipate with the breath of our very beings…the imminent, triumphant return of Christ for His sparkling Bride.

In the little poem I had given her, I had finished with the promise that when she came down the aisle, I would be waiting for her with tears and a smile. Well, there I stood at the head of the aisle on that unforgettable eve in December, awaiting my princess’s entrance.

A trumpet sounded, and all rose to their feet. There, with such joy in my heart, I stood and wept. I could not see her yet, and I struggled to mold a smile into my convulsing face of tears. Tears and a smile I had promised Leslie, but if she entered now, she would see only tears.

I strained to physically express the joy in my heart for my princess would soon enter through the wreathed archway. Suddenly, at the very moment I saw my beautiful bride, God’s indescribable peace poured out upon the candle-lit sanctuary. A smile creased my tear-moistened face.

To a tune Leslie had written a couple years prior that we entitled the “Sunrise Song,” I beckoned her with the words:

The trumpet calls you, Radiant Bride.

Dressed in the purest, most dazzling white,

Cherish this moment bathed in starlight,

Christ’s beautiful princess shinning so bright.

Beautiful emerald eyes, come to me,

O Radiant Bride.

The sanctuary was heavy with emotion, and God’s smile seemed to bathe our souls with His pleasure. The drama of that night was etched upon our hearts by God’s very finger emblazoning forever upon our minds the significance of obedience unto the will of our Lord.

Four years prior, I’d surrendered the pursuit of romantic relationships to God. I took the radical step of abandoning the dating scene, determining to wait for Him to bring my wife to me in his perfect time. I never dreamed that such a beautiful love story would follow and that He’d pick for me such a gorgeous bride. He taught me that if I’d selflessly live, He’d abundantly give. That was proven true on our wedding night as we shared our first kiss. I discovered that when God writes the script, sure there are tears, but celebration wins out in the end!

They describe so precisely, the things we think and feel after believing and loving Allah unseen, and the sweetness of imaan, has touched us, changed our lives in such a personal way. It never ceases to amaze me how Allah hears and knows all of us. Every single soul in every corner of the universe, the secrets that their hearts whisper to their Lord. He knows them, He loves them, He mentions them to the Angels. He is enough. Really, he is enough for all of us.

After each line i read i just had to close my eyes and take in the accuracy and depth.

Allah’s Love is All Encompassing.

“O Allah, if you do not take care of me there is nobody to take care of me.
O Allah, if you do not love me there is nobody who would love me.
O Allah, if you do not forgive me there is nobody who would forgive me
O Allah, if you do not look after my affairs, there is nobody who would look after it.
O Allah, if you do not give me hikmah, nobody else can give me My Lord.
O Allah, if you do not guide me, there is no one who can guide me My Lord.
O Allah, if you do not shower your mercy upon me, there is nobody who can shower mercy upon me
O Allah, if you do not allow me to get closer to you, I cannot ever get closer ya Rabb.
O Allah, if you do not allow me to earn Your Pleasure, I will be the biggest loser ya Rabb.

O Allah, there is no one else but You who has Power and Might, Knower of the Unseen, Owner of the Day of Judgement, You are My Protector, Helper,Guardian in this World and in the Hereafter, Cause me to die as a Muslim and join me with Righteous.”

————— ~ —————

O Allah, allow us to be concerned about the affairs of our brothers and sisters
O Allah, owner of my Soul, I beg You to have mercy on this soul on the Day of Judgement
O Allah, you can allow me to go through pain, suffering, turmoil in this world, but Please do not Disgrace me on The Day of Judgement ya Rabb
O Allah, You can take everything from me and leave me with nothing, but please do not leave me from Your Mercy and Forgiveness on Yaum Al Qiyamah
O Allah, I do not know what is good for me, Verily I am in need of whatever blessing you bestow upon me
O Allah, if you want to test my faith it is better for me to die than to fail the test
O Allah, there is no one else but You who has Power and Might, Knower of the Unseen, Owner of the Day of Judgement, You are My Protector, Helper,Guardian in this World and in the Hereafter, Cause me to die as a Muslim and join me with Righteous.

————— ~ —————

“Ya Rabb, My Lord you know me.
I don’t have to disclose me.
When I make that call in sujood,
I know that you love me.
The tears have their own language
Speaking on behalf of my heart
The pain gets more sweeter when I know that you’re testing me
It gets deep when I know I don’t have anyone understanding me
Do not abandon me, leave me, disgrace me
O Allah, My Rabb, Help me & Guide me
My love for you is immense
Yet this dunya doesn’t make any sense
My heart trembles out of fear, Protect me Ya Rabb
Verily You are Watching me”

video: the tears of a strong mother
partial peace The bill comes to pass

Rehab, I look at her, i hear her voice, i cannot stop my tears, she is a fortress of strength. Truly an inspiration for me. She, SHE knows pain. In my useless years i have delved on my own life, while she has suffered for 25 years. Twenty-five years of horrifying days and nights. it is people like these that allah chooses eternal happiness in paradise for rather than the black ugly days of this life.

If i look at her, I’ve never known pain. Subhan-allah, Allah is with all of us at all times. I know Allah will not waste the pain in her heart for nothing. Test upon test, pain over more and more pain. I ask allah to reunite their family in Jannah. All the things that were missing in this life for us, Allah will grant them to us eternally in paradise. Ultimate reward for those who seek Him!